Looking for a spellbinding laugh?
Whether you’re crafting a Halloween Instagram caption, preparing a classroom-friendly joke, or simply in the mood to stir up some cauldron-sized giggles, this list of witch puns and jokes has everything you need to charm your audience.
From flirty broomstick banter to classroom-safe cackles and party-perfect one-liners, weâve brewed up a full cauldron of hilarityâno eye of newt required. Scroll, laugh, and don’t forget to cast your favorites in the comments below!
Witch Puns for Halloween Captions That Slay đâ¨
Perfect for your spooky selfies, Halloween outfits, or group costume squad pics!
- Witch, pleaseâI woke up like this
- Feeling witchy and richy
- Spells and sass, thatâs my class
- I put a spell on my selfie
- Brooms before grooms
- Hocus pocus and a latte focus
- Witch way to the party?
- Yes, I drive stick
- Bewitched, bothered, and brunching
- Too glam to give a damn… even in a cauldron
- Broom hair, donât care
- A little witchful thinking never hurt
- Getting hex-y tonight
- Spellbound and selfie-ready
- Be the witch you wish to see in the world
Funny Witch Jokes for Kids That Are Magic School Approved đ§šđ
Clean, silly, and giggle-tested for young ghouls and goblins!
- What do you call a witch who lives at the beach? A sand-witch!
- Why donât witches ride escalators? They prefer broom service
- Whatâs a witchâs favorite subject? Spelling!
- Why did the witch fail her driving test? She kept brooming into things
- What do you get when you cross a witch and a snowman? Frostbite
- How does a witch lose weight? Exorcise
- Why was the witch late? Her broom hit traffic
- What do you call a witchâs garage? A broom closet
- Whatâs a witchâs favorite hotel? The Broomington Inn
- Why do witches wear name tags? So they can spell it out
- Whatâs a witchâs favorite ice cream? Scream-sicle
- Where do witches bank? Spellmanâs Savings
- How do witches keep their hair neat? Scare spray
- What do witches use on their skin? Hex-foliant
- Why did the witch bring string to the party? To tie one on
Romantic Witch Puns for Couples That Cast a Love Spell đđ§ââď¸
Looking to charm your boo? These magical flirts will cast sparks!
- You be my broom, Iâll be your ride
- Love you to the moon and broomstick
- Iâm spellbound by your smile
- You had me at hocus pocus
- Caught under your love spell
- You put the “witch” in switchinâ up my heart
- Iâm potions about you
- Bewitched and totally hitched
- Weâre broom-mates for life
- I cauldronât be happier with you
- Youâre brew-tiful inside and out
- You make my heart levitate
- Our love? 100% supernatural
- Always spellinâ together
- You’re the magic in my mayhem
Spooky One-Liner Witch Jokes That Kill at Parties đťđ¤
Short, sharp, and scary-good for open mics, reels, or bar chats.
- My ex said I was toxicâso I brewed him a tea
- Iâm not bossy, Iâm spell-efficient
- I speak fluent cackle
- Stirred, not shaken
- I have flying anxietyâon brooms
- I hex on the first date
- My cauldron runs on drama
- Why go to therapy when you can hex your ex?
- Iâm not dramatic, Iâm magically intense
- Got 99 problems but a glitch ainât witch
- I do cardioâby chasing mortals
- Sage is for vibes, not salad
- Mind the gapâit’s a portal
- Iâm the reason garlicâs scared
- Wands out, drama in
Clever Witch Puns for Instagram Bios and Reels Captions đąđď¸
Snappy and shortâready to enchant your followers.
- Spellbound, not heartbroken
- Enchanted and unbothered
- Casting chaos with a smirk
- Just a witch in a WiFi world
- Cauldron vibes only
- Manifesting like itâs 1692
- Brooming with potential
- Digital witchcraft and chill
- 99% sparkle, 1% spellbook
- Certified potion mixologist
- Hexual healing expert
- Mood: witchy and wealthy
- Reality is for Muggles
- Slaying in spell check
- Curses and compliments only
Cute Witch Puns for Halloween Cards & DIY Crafts âď¸đ
Sweet, light, and perfect for school notes, gifts, or decor.
- Youâve got me under your spell
- Witch you a happy Halloween!
- Letâs have a fang-tastic night
- Hope your Halloween is hex-tra special
- Youâre broom-tiful
- Spooktacular things ahead
- Love you more than candy corn
- Brewing up some card magic
- Best witches to you
- Too cute to spook
- Have a fa-boo-lous Halloween
- Monster hugs and witchy kisses
- Ghoul-friend for life
- Thanks for making Halloween spell-tacular
- You put the âbooâ in boo-tiful
Hilarious Broomstick Puns to Sweep You Off Your Feet đ§šđ
Get swept into a fit of laughter with these flying funnies!
- Swept away by Halloween magic
- Broom with a view
- Letâs take a spinâwitch style
- Just broominâ through life
- My ride or die⌠is literally a broom
- Fly now, pay later
- Broom service is here!
- Fasten your seatbroom
- I brake for bats
- Who needs Uber when youâve got broom?
- Broom-mates forever
- Keep calm and broom on
- Left my GPS in the cauldron
- This broomâs got mileage
- Street-legal in Salem
Witchy Wordplay Puns for Spelling a Laugh đ§ââď¸đ§
Delightfully nerdy and pun-perfect for witty word lovers.
- You auto-spell-corrected my heart
- Thatâs a spell check Iâll allow
- I put the lit in literature
- Grammar wand activated
- I’m a well-read witch
- Oxford comma? More like Hexford comma
- Thesaurus? More like spellbook
- Witch rhymes with rich
- Conjugating curses since 1692
- Wordplay is my wand
- Cauldronât think of a better pun
- My syntax is spelltacular
- Words are spells, use wisely
- Simile? More like simply magical
- No typoâjust witchcraft
Conclusion: đŹđ
So there you have itâ120+ wickedly funny witch jokes and puns to make your Halloween posts pop, your costumes crackle with humor, and your conversations spark some spell-worthy laughter.
Which oneâs your favorite? đ§ââď¸
Share the pun-derful vibes in the comments, or tag a ghoul-friend who needs a laugh.
And remember: donât be basicâbe broom-believable!